Don't send me a number. Just look below.

  • 1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? They're usually open.
  • 2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? I do not. My wife does.
  • 3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? Tucked in at the bottom, not at the sides.
  • 4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? No.
  • 5: Do you like to use post-it notes? And how!
  • 6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I used to do that. I gave up.
  • 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? Depends on what you mean by "attack" and by "big bear."
  • 8: Do you have freckles? No.
  • 9: Do you always smile for pictures? No.
  • 10: What is your biggest pet peeve? Racists who have no idea they're racist.
  • 11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? No.
  • 12: Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes.
  • 13: What about pooped in the woods? Yes.
  • 14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? There's always music playing.
  • 15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? No.
  • 16: How many people have you slept with this week? One
  • 17: What size is your bed? King
  • 18: What is your Song of the week? The entirety of the new New Pornographers album.
  • 19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? It's a must.
  • 20: Do you still watch cartoons? Yes.
  • 21: Whats your least favorite movie? Titanic
  • 22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? I'm not telling.
  • 23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size? 38x32
  • 24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? I like to switch it up.
  • 25: What is your favorite food? Barbecue
  • 26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Annie Hall, The Wizard of Oz, Field of Dreams, Mean Girls, Chinatown, Pulp Fiction
  • 27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? I kissed both my sons goodnight.
  • 28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? No. I went to an intro meeting and refused to sign up.
  • 29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? No.
  • 30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? 3 or 4 years
  • 31: Can you change the oil on a car? Yes.
  • 32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? Several but it's been a long time.
  • 33: Ever ran out of gas? No.
  • 34: Favorite kind of sandwich? Turkey on the day after Thanksgiving.
  • 35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? Eggs and bacon
  • 36: What is your usual bedtime? Anytime between 9pm and 1am.
  • 37: Are you lazy? Very much so.
  • 38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? A gremlin, a clown, a hobo, superman, Cookie Monster, and a few others I can't remember.
  • 39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Gemini
  • 41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No.
  • 42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? Legos
  • 43: Are you stubborn? A little
  • 44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? Letterman hands down
  • 45: Ever watch soap operas? I watched As the World turns for a couple of years as a teenager.
  • 46: Are you afraid of heights? No.
  • 47: Do you sing in the car? Always.
  • 48: Do you sing in the shower? Some times
  • 49: Do you dance in the car? I do!
  • 50: Ever used a gun? I've held one a few times.
  • 51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? About 5 years
  • 52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? Yes but I love them.
  • 53: Is Christmas stressful? Yes.
  • 54: Ever eat a pierogi? Yes.
  • 55: Favorite type of fruit pie? Lemon meringue
  • 56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? Judge, baseball player
  • 57: Do you believe in ghosts? No.
  • 58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes.
  • 59: Take a vitamin daily? Yep.
  • 60: Wear slippers? No.
  • 61: Wear a bath robe? Rarely
  • 62: What do you wear to bed? Underwear
  • 63: First concert? My parents took me to a ton so I don't remember. First one without them was R.E.M.
  • 64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? Ugh.
  • 65: Nike or Adidas? Adidas
  • 66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos
  • 67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? Peanuts
  • 68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? No.
  • 69: Ever take dance lessons? No.
  • 70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? My wife is a teacher.
  • 71: Can you curl your tongue? Yes.
  • 72: Ever won a spelling bee? In class, yes.
  • 73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes.
  • 74: Own any record albums? A lot.
  • 75: Own a record player? Yep.
  • 76: Regularly burn incense? No.
  • 77: Ever been in love? Yes!
  • 78: Who would you like to see in concert? Talking Heads (never gonna happen), tons of bands though
  • 79: What was the last concert you saw? The Baseball Project
  • 80: Hot tea or cold tea? Cold
  • 81: Tea or coffee? Tea
  • 82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? Sugar
  • 83: Can you swim well? Well enough
  • 84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? Yes.
  • 85: Are you patient? Not really
  • 86: DJ or band, at a wedding? Band
  • 87: Ever won a contest? Not that I can remember.
  • 88: Ever have plastic surgery? Nope.
  • 89: Which are better black or green olives? Black on pizza, green in a cocktail
  • 90: Can you knit or crochet? No.
  • 91: Best room for a fireplace? Bedroom
  • 92: Do you want to get married? Doin' it now.
  • 93: If married, how long have you been married? 16 years
  • 94: Who was your HS crush? I had a few. I married one of them.
  • 95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? No.
  • 96: Do you have kids? Two
  • 97: Do you want kids? Yes.
  • 98: Whats your favorite color? Blue.
  • 99: Do you miss anyone right now? Lots. Some I've never even met.

He Toss My Salad Like His Name Romaine: A Look at Anaconda Through the Eyes of the Old Testament

(via orxnahhh)

A meditative question I ask myself:

Would I give up the joyful memories of Growing Pains just to save the world from Kirk Cameron?

The answer is always yes but it clears the head.

It’s my face. It’s been a minute.

It’s my face. It’s been a minute.

“Welcome to Earth, home of the great women and men.
We are animals that have ideas.
Maybe cats and ravens have ideas too, but they keep them to themselves.
Travellers from the whole galaxy throng to our luscious planet with its evolution-friendly climate and nourishing minerals.
Take time to locate the exit nearest you.
Press 1 for Famine, 2 for Pestilence, 3 for Condoleeza, and 4 for Death.
Please note that Pestilence closes at six.”
— Robyn Hitchcock (via radjans)

So, um, Blue Valentine was the wrong movie to watch.

I’m a wreck.

I need to be held.

Buying these lemon cookies from the bakery is one of the best decisions I’ve made in a long time.

“What if after every direction the GPS said, “if you know what’s good for you”?”
— Aaron, 7 years old
“It’s an urban, German bourbon.”
— Princess Carolyn, “Bojack Horseman” (via assertivelynice)

I don’t watch the VMAs because I get confused when Beyonce doesn’t win all the awards.


i can not handle the puns caskca:

i can not handle the puns caskca:

i can not handle the puns caskca:

i can not handle the puns caskca:

i can not handle the puns caskca:

i can not handle the puns

I’m waiting on the clean sheets to get out of the dryer.


Which netflix documentary should I watch?