June 3, 2012
I just realized I only have one year left in the coveted 18-34 male demographic. I should do a lot of influential media consumption while I still have the desirable pull.

7:53pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMiRr37
(Notes: 10)
  
June 3, 2012
Did you hear about that Japanese guy who had his genitals surgically removed so he could cook them up for the highest bidders?

I don’t really have a joke here but if that dude were American he’d definitely be from Florida.

7:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMiCFzI
(Notes: 10)
  
June 3, 2012
If Mandy Patinkin were on your beer league softball team, during which inning do you think he would hang it up each night?

6:00pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMhyr52
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: beer league softball Mandy Patinkin 
June 3, 2012

southerncontradiction replied to your post: After nearly 30 years of careful contemplation I am ready to say I think Tempestt Bledsoe is a really kickass name.

I thought you were going to declare undying love and devotion to her. I was like “Kim Fields is gonna be pissed!”

Tootie will always have my heart.

5:55pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMhx71x
(Notes: 4)
  
Filed under: southerncontradiction Kim Fields Tootie The Facts of Life 
June 3, 2012

thatchris replied to your post: After nearly 30 years of careful contemplation I am ready to say I think Tempestt Bledsoe is a really kickass name.

How does it compare in badassery with that of former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle?

I am not willing to lump them in the same group of kickass names. Now, Sterling Marlin—that’s a kickass former NASCAR name.

Dick Trickle just makes me giggle.

PS - There was a patient in the ER last night with the last name of Felcher.

5:50pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMhvo_e
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: thatchris Dick Trickle Sterling Marlin NASCAR Felch Felcher Felching 
June 3, 2012
After nearly 30 years of careful contemplation I am ready to say I think Tempestt Bledsoe is a really kickass name.

5:12pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMhlzKE
(Notes: 18)
  
Filed under: Tempest Bledsoe The Cosby Show 
June 2, 2012
Today’s strange shower singing transition was…

The Carpenter’s Superstar into Freak Scene by Dinosaur Jr

3:14pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMd2-9-
(Notes: 11)
  
Filed under: Showering with me would be an awesome experience It's like putting your ipod on shuffle Except I have man parts 
June 1, 2012
"Just move the vodka out of the way son…."

—

Anxietyfarm (via southerncontradiction)

It’s good to have friends with tumblr when you say brilliant things like that to your children. Thanks, J.

8:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMaBuqx
(Notes: 21)
  
June 1, 2012
While singing in the shower I transitioned from U Can’t Touch This to Famous Blue Raincoat.

Stop! Hammer Time!

Sincerely,

L. Cohen

8:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMa4PCS
(Notes: 7)
  
June 1, 2012
boniverotica: Bon Iver is working on a side project. He has recorded indie rock covers of American Revolution songs and produced them on vinyl, and is sliding the records into hand-embossed leather covers made from the results of last summer’s bison-hide tanning project and placing them into boxes engraved with birds that live not in this world, but in a universe of his own imagining - birds like the Whisper Finch, whose feathers are acoustically perfect and have psychic properties: when they fly, they produce audible dreams and feelings.He is making one box each for every person he has ever loved. He will deliver them on his motorbike during his sabbatical.

boniverotica:

Bon Iver is working on a side project. He has recorded indie rock covers of American Revolution songs and produced them on vinyl, and is sliding the records into hand-embossed leather covers made from the results of last summer’s bison-hide tanning project and placing them into boxes engraved with birds that live not in this world, but in a universe of his own imagining - birds like the Whisper Finch, whose feathers are acoustically perfect and have psychic properties: when they fly, they produce audible dreams and feelings.

He is making one box each for every person he has ever loved. He will deliver them on his motorbike during his sabbatical.

4:59pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMZG_kq
(Notes: 121)
  
June 1, 2012

(Source: sullengrrrl, via neutralchocolatemilkhotel)

2:36am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMXRwV-
(Notes: 10,480)
  
June 1, 2012
roboshark: There is a chart measuring this picture’s WTFness. It is written in math you don’t understand, and its trajectory peaks somewhere high in the troposphere.  hewhocannotbenamed: LIBERACE.

roboshark:

There is a chart measuring this picture’s WTFness. It is written in math you don’t understand, and its trajectory peaks somewhere high in the troposphere. 

hewhocannotbenamed:

LIBERACE.

(Source: upnorthtrips, via ifc)

1:22am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMXI3eH
(Notes: 465)
  
May 31, 2012
Today I turn 34.

I am exiting my Christ year. Did I do anything Christ-like with it? I might have pulled off a card trick or two. That’s kind of miracle-y. Oh, I also turned water into Kool-Aid.

Right now my friend David is in my kitchen with my beautiful wife and precocious children preparing a birthday meal. In an hour my house will be filled with wonderful friends including tumblr celebrity, Jason aka southerncontradiction.

Usually I dread my birthday and get all weepy about it. Not this year. I preemptively planned an evening with my closest friends who I have not seen a lot over the past year due to Aden’s illness and my new job with its awkward shift. The last time we all got together at my house was two Christmases ago. I was in such a bad place that I couldn’t handle it. I drank a lot and was probably really quiet. Or maybe I was loud. I don’t know. Did I mention I drank a lot?

Anyway, I am a different-ish person now. I can handle shit a lot better. I also have met amazingly wonderful tumblr people. Two of which make me incredibly happy. They also make me feel incredibly privileged every day just for the simple fact that I have them in my life. You know who you are and just in case you don’t you are tagged. Sadly you are tagged in a literal sense. I’ve said too much.

[Note: I am drinking a lot today but for entirely different reasons.]

6:40pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMVkkdN
(Notes: 25)
  
Filed under: doyoulikethewaythewatertastes uless birthday 34 likemaryjiamnotgonnacry 
May 31, 2012

southerncontradiction replied to your chat: Driving Around With My 5 Year-old Son

I love that kid. If he can only neaten up his chip and dip eating abilities he’ll be set for life.

You would have been proud of him tonight. We had Mexican and he left with a clean shirt! I don’t know how it happened.

12:11am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMTAKWq
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: southerncontradiction 
May 30, 2012
Driving Around With My 5 Year-old Son
Aaron: When I take my drivers license test I think I'll drive this car or my own car.
Me: What kind of car will you have?
Aaron: A sports car.
Me: Wow. What kind of sports car?
Aaron: You know, baseball and tennis and soccer. I'll have all the equipment in my trunk because I am going to coach all the sports and I'll need a sports car.
10:43pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZXmqGwMSsjaX
(Notes: 27)
  
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